Moving this blog to a new place.
mividabella.tumblr.com
Saturday, March 6, 2010
And she Greets the Day with... reality.
I really do wish that I would have met you in another place in time of my life. I met you too soon. We didn't have our things together, we didn't fully think of our actions in what we did, who we saw, how we felt. Everything was more of a rush than anything. It was more of a sick, naive act, that turned into a beautiful road...gone wrong.
You know, it's so weird how things turn for the worst. It's funny to think that there were so many opportunities to see either the good in this or even the bad in things and yet... our perception is distorted. Ever imagine that? Where it's something so obvious, something so blunt yelling at you in the fucking face, telling you, "Look idiot, this is the perfect example of......" or "How many times have you seen this act?" Either way, it's amazing how we choose to only see what our mind has already chosen, simply because of the four letter word- love.
Like I'm a puppet. I have no control of when I smile, when I speak, when I simply just- do anything when it came to you. It was a act of "you need to make someone else happy. You need to do this. You need to remember WHO you are seeing. This is golden."
I was never a princess. Your princess. I was the one that should be "glad to be dating [you.]"
But what is wrong with that? It that you shot me so fucking low to the ground, that I couldn't pick myself back up. Why? Oh, that's right: so I could learn. A slap in the face, a slap for myself. Learn. Grow up. Be who you want to be. Spread your wings and....
fuck that. It was a sick way of you getting over whatever you wanted to get over. Of hiding your emotions. Sweeping it under the rug so later, you can dust of when you're numb. But that's funny- because when I was numb this WHOLE time- I revived myself, I became strong, to make you feel better. at any given point in time.
I was always afraid to think of love, until I met you. It was something new to me; something that I had longed for, and when the time came I was afraid. It all seemed something as if from a movie, especially the movie, "The Notebook" which makes me utterly and disgustingly sick. Still, I went for it, after a sign of guilt, after emotions ran wild, after I couldn't just not talk to you for a couple of hours. Here is where the whole part of the "disgustingly distorted perception" comes into place. It tells your body, oh feel this- oh feel that. In this moment you are SUPPOSED to be like this- if you do things THIS way, it'll only turn out like the perfect ending in the movies. In the fairy tales at the end of the book. Right before the book closes the hard cover. That part.
Happily. Ever. After.
I did love you. I really did. A lot at that. And although love conquers all, it didn't with this.
REALITY conquers all.
You know, it's so weird how things turn for the worst. It's funny to think that there were so many opportunities to see either the good in this or even the bad in things and yet... our perception is distorted. Ever imagine that? Where it's something so obvious, something so blunt yelling at you in the fucking face, telling you, "Look idiot, this is the perfect example of......" or "How many times have you seen this act?" Either way, it's amazing how we choose to only see what our mind has already chosen, simply because of the four letter word- love.
Like I'm a puppet. I have no control of when I smile, when I speak, when I simply just- do anything when it came to you. It was a act of "you need to make someone else happy. You need to do this. You need to remember WHO you are seeing. This is golden."
I was never a princess. Your princess. I was the one that should be "glad to be dating [you.]"
But what is wrong with that? It that you shot me so fucking low to the ground, that I couldn't pick myself back up. Why? Oh, that's right: so I could learn. A slap in the face, a slap for myself. Learn. Grow up. Be who you want to be. Spread your wings and....
fuck that. It was a sick way of you getting over whatever you wanted to get over. Of hiding your emotions. Sweeping it under the rug so later, you can dust of when you're numb. But that's funny- because when I was numb this WHOLE time- I revived myself, I became strong, to make you feel better. at any given point in time.
I was always afraid to think of love, until I met you. It was something new to me; something that I had longed for, and when the time came I was afraid. It all seemed something as if from a movie, especially the movie, "The Notebook" which makes me utterly and disgustingly sick. Still, I went for it, after a sign of guilt, after emotions ran wild, after I couldn't just not talk to you for a couple of hours. Here is where the whole part of the "disgustingly distorted perception" comes into place. It tells your body, oh feel this- oh feel that. In this moment you are SUPPOSED to be like this- if you do things THIS way, it'll only turn out like the perfect ending in the movies. In the fairy tales at the end of the book. Right before the book closes the hard cover. That part.
Happily. Ever. After.
I did love you. I really did. A lot at that. And although love conquers all, it didn't with this.
REALITY conquers all.
And she Greets the Day with... jumping around.
After coming home from doing what I was doing... I've reached many many thoughts. Sigh, here we go.
1. Max, why buddy? Why..
For those who do not know, Max Rodriguez fell off a 5th floor balcony at J26 last weekend. He sat up on the ledge, joked about falling, and didn't fall. He tried to joke again, this time not catching himself and falling straight down. He was dead on impact. It's crazy to think during all these times in which you stop talking to someone the next week- they could be gone. Hold your relationships close to you. Every. Single. One.
2. I miss you.
I miss coming home to you, I miss the cuddles, the sweet everything, the gorgeous smile, the endless hugs, the fighting, the love, the everything. However, I looked at your picture the other day and I felt nothing.
3. Drinking on the EBus
Yes, I am aware that college campus- you're gonna drink. If you do. But what I don't get is if you're gonna drink, why don't you do it responsibly?
4. Why are people so negative?
For everything. I'm sorry if you think your life sucks, but don't take it out on other people's lives. ITS NOT OUR FAULT.
5. Living situations
WE FOuND A HOUSE FOR NEXT YEAR. It's perfect, which a fire place, a backyard, big kitchen- it's pretty much amazing.
6. Giraffes.
I want to touch one. Random, I know.
7. Calls at 3am.
"Come over.." "I miss you." "I just want to cuddle."
Um, no.
8. You make me smile. I just OH this deserves another post.
1. Max, why buddy? Why..
For those who do not know, Max Rodriguez fell off a 5th floor balcony at J26 last weekend. He sat up on the ledge, joked about falling, and didn't fall. He tried to joke again, this time not catching himself and falling straight down. He was dead on impact. It's crazy to think during all these times in which you stop talking to someone the next week- they could be gone. Hold your relationships close to you. Every. Single. One.
2. I miss you.
I miss coming home to you, I miss the cuddles, the sweet everything, the gorgeous smile, the endless hugs, the fighting, the love, the everything. However, I looked at your picture the other day and I felt nothing.
3. Drinking on the EBus
Yes, I am aware that college campus- you're gonna drink. If you do. But what I don't get is if you're gonna drink, why don't you do it responsibly?
4. Why are people so negative?
For everything. I'm sorry if you think your life sucks, but don't take it out on other people's lives. ITS NOT OUR FAULT.
5. Living situations
WE FOuND A HOUSE FOR NEXT YEAR. It's perfect, which a fire place, a backyard, big kitchen- it's pretty much amazing.
6. Giraffes.
I want to touch one. Random, I know.
7. Calls at 3am.
"Come over.." "I miss you." "I just want to cuddle."
Um, no.
8. You make me smile. I just OH this deserves another post.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
And She Greets the Day with... the day after.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I tried sushi.
I didn't like it, Dane. Fish eggs? You would.
I called Aubrey to check on her. If, only, if only.
Us three, again. Sleep overs, bonfires, and us.
I miss you, please come visit me today- I need you.
“When angels visit us, we do not hear the rustle of wings, nor feel the feathery touch of the breast of a dove; but we know their presence by the love they create in our hearts.”
"It’s sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk fo hours. And how now, you can barely even look at them"
"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."
Tupac Shakur.
... you know, if people wanted to be in your life- they would make an effort to do so.
I didn't like it, Dane. Fish eggs? You would.
I called Aubrey to check on her. If, only, if only.
Us three, again. Sleep overs, bonfires, and us.
I miss you, please come visit me today- I need you.
“When angels visit us, we do not hear the rustle of wings, nor feel the feathery touch of the breast of a dove; but we know their presence by the love they create in our hearts.”
"It’s sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk fo hours. And how now, you can barely even look at them"
"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."
Tupac Shakur.
... you know, if people wanted to be in your life- they would make an effort to do so.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
And She Greets the Day with... March 3, 2010.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
This day is going to be so hard.
Do you remember all the times we used to laugh with each other?
Do you?
Everyone said you were good for me.
But we fought, and we bickered.
And, yet we would come back to each other.
Mad or not, you could ALWAYS put a smile on my face.
I missed you for all those years,
and you had finally came into my life.
We were so comfortable, and so broken in.
I miss you. I really do.
Dane, March 3, 2010 is going to be one year.
One year without you.
I miss your laugh,
I miss your smile,
I miss your everything.
WHY did you have to do that?
Because now, youre not here.
Youre not here with Aubrey, youre not here with me, youre not here.
SO many things I wish you were here for. SO MANY THINGS.
and I want to be mad at you, I really do. But I can't. You had your reasoning, but then it brings me back to WHY DIDNT YOU FREAKIN CALL ONE OF US?
I miss you. And I hope you know, that March 3rd is going to be a REALLY hard day for me.
Do you remember all the times we used to laugh with each other?
Do you?
Everyone said you were good for me.
But we fought, and we bickered.
And, yet we would come back to each other.
Mad or not, you could ALWAYS put a smile on my face.
I missed you for all those years,
and you had finally came into my life.
We were so comfortable, and so broken in.
I miss you. I really do.
Dane, March 3, 2010 is going to be one year.
One year without you.
I miss your laugh,
I miss your smile,
I miss your everything.
WHY did you have to do that?
Because now, youre not here.
Youre not here with Aubrey, youre not here with me, youre not here.
SO many things I wish you were here for. SO MANY THINGS.
and I want to be mad at you, I really do. But I can't. You had your reasoning, but then it brings me back to WHY DIDNT YOU FREAKIN CALL ONE OF US?
I miss you. And I hope you know, that March 3rd is going to be a REALLY hard day for me.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
And She Greets the Day with... beauty, on this beautiful day.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
She’s got a baby inside
And holds her belly tight
All through the night
Just so she knows
She’s sleeping so
Safely to keep
Her growing
And oh when she'll open her eyes
There'll be no surprise
That she'll grow to be
So beautifully
Just like her mother
That’s carrying
Oh Capri
She’s beauty
Baby inside she’s loving
Oh Capri
She’s beauty
There is and angel growin’ peacefully
Oh Capri
Sweet baby
And things will be hard at times
But I've learned to try
Just listening
Patiently, oh Capri
Sweet baby
Oh Capri
She’s beauty
Baby inside she’s loving
Oh Capri
Your beauty
Just like your mother
That’s carrying...Oh Capri
:)
beautiful song, and can't wait for the American Dream- the husband, the family, the home...
but not anytime soon.
It's a great day outside! Go play!
And holds her belly tight
All through the night
Just so she knows
She’s sleeping so
Safely to keep
Her growing
And oh when she'll open her eyes
There'll be no surprise
That she'll grow to be
So beautifully
Just like her mother
That’s carrying
Oh Capri
She’s beauty
Baby inside she’s loving
Oh Capri
She’s beauty
There is and angel growin’ peacefully
Oh Capri
Sweet baby
And things will be hard at times
But I've learned to try
Just listening
Patiently, oh Capri
Sweet baby
Oh Capri
She’s beauty
Baby inside she’s loving
Oh Capri
Your beauty
Just like your mother
That’s carrying...Oh Capri
:)
beautiful song, and can't wait for the American Dream- the husband, the family, the home...
but not anytime soon.
It's a great day outside! Go play!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
And She Greets the Day with... finally breathing.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The moment that is indescribable gets described with my iphone on shuffle.
"Ohh I, Don't know what to say
And I, have told you lately
That I'm tired of talking about the same old reasons we change
Just take it easy don't worry about these mistakes
Because I'm keeping it cool, now thinking about you, sticking around and if we should pay
Tied down,looking around and I know what I want so don't hold me down
Oh I, I don't play games
And I, I have been learning
To just to let it all go and quiet when I feel like speaking
My mind done whatever it is I need to make clear and just say
That I'm keeping it cool, now thinking about you, sticking around and if we should pay
Tied down, I'm looking around and I know what I want so don't hold me down...
Down....
Down....
Don't you hold me down
Because I'm keeping it cool, now thinking about you, sticking around and if we should pay
Tied down, I'm looking around and I know what I want so don't hold me down
Oh I, I can't take it
So please please please won't you listen
To the troubles all around me, I'm caught up and I'm barely breathin
But I'm finding that holding on is harder than never leaving"
"Ohh I, Don't know what to say
And I, have told you lately
That I'm tired of talking about the same old reasons we change
Just take it easy don't worry about these mistakes
Because I'm keeping it cool, now thinking about you, sticking around and if we should pay
Tied down,looking around and I know what I want so don't hold me down
Oh I, I don't play games
And I, I have been learning
To just to let it all go and quiet when I feel like speaking
My mind done whatever it is I need to make clear and just say
That I'm keeping it cool, now thinking about you, sticking around and if we should pay
Tied down, I'm looking around and I know what I want so don't hold me down...
Down....
Down....
Don't you hold me down
Because I'm keeping it cool, now thinking about you, sticking around and if we should pay
Tied down, I'm looking around and I know what I want so don't hold me down
Oh I, I can't take it
So please please please won't you listen
To the troubles all around me, I'm caught up and I'm barely breathin
But I'm finding that holding on is harder than never leaving"
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