and she Greets the Day with... change of place.

Moving this blog to a new place.






mividabella.tumblr.com

And she Greets the Day with... reality.

I really do wish that I would have met you in another place in time of my life. I met you too soon. We didn't have our things together, we didn't fully think of our actions in what we did, who we saw, how we felt. Everything was more of a rush than anything. It was more of a sick, naive act, that turned into a beautiful road...gone wrong.

You know, it's so weird how things turn for the worst. It's funny to think that there were so many opportunities to see either the good in this or even the bad in things and yet... our perception is distorted. Ever imagine that? Where it's something so obvious, something so blunt yelling at you in the fucking face, telling you, "Look idiot, this is the perfect example of......" or "How many times have you seen this act?" Either way, it's amazing how we choose to only see what our mind has already chosen, simply because of the four letter word- love.

Like I'm a puppet. I have no control of when I smile, when I speak, when I simply just- do anything when it came to you. It was a act of "you need to make someone else happy. You need to do this. You need to remember WHO you are seeing. This is golden."

I was never a princess. Your princess. I was the one that should be "glad to be dating [you.]"

But what is wrong with that? It that you shot me so fucking low to the ground, that I couldn't pick myself back up. Why? Oh, that's right: so I could learn. A slap in the face, a slap for myself. Learn. Grow up. Be who you want to be. Spread your wings and....

fuck that. It was a sick way of you getting over whatever you wanted to get over. Of hiding your emotions. Sweeping it under the rug so later, you can dust of when you're numb. But that's funny- because when I was numb this WHOLE time- I revived myself, I became strong, to make you feel better. at any given point in time.

I was always afraid to think of love, until I met you. It was something new to me; something that I had longed for, and when the time came I was afraid. It all seemed something as if from a movie, especially the movie, "The Notebook" which makes me utterly and disgustingly sick. Still, I went for it, after a sign of guilt, after emotions ran wild, after I couldn't just not talk to you for a couple of hours. Here is where the whole part of the "disgustingly distorted perception" comes into place. It tells your body, oh feel this- oh feel that. In this moment you are SUPPOSED to be like this- if you do things THIS way, it'll only turn out like the perfect ending in the movies. In the fairy tales at the end of the book. Right before the book closes the hard cover. That part.

Happily. Ever. After.

I did love you. I really did. A lot at that. And although love conquers all, it didn't with this.



REALITY conquers all.

And she Greets the Day with... jumping around.

After coming home from doing what I was doing... I've reached many many thoughts. Sigh, here we go.

1. Max, why buddy? Why..
For those who do not know, Max Rodriguez fell off a 5th floor balcony at J26 last weekend. He sat up on the ledge, joked about falling, and didn't fall. He tried to joke again, this time not catching himself and falling straight down. He was dead on impact. It's crazy to think during all these times in which you stop talking to someone the next week- they could be gone. Hold your relationships close to you. Every. Single. One.


2. I miss you.
I miss coming home to you, I miss the cuddles, the sweet everything, the gorgeous smile, the endless hugs, the fighting, the love, the everything. However, I looked at your picture the other day and I felt nothing.


3. Drinking on the EBus
Yes, I am aware that college campus- you're gonna drink. If you do. But what I don't get is if you're gonna drink, why don't you do it responsibly?

4. Why are people so negative?
For everything. I'm sorry if you think your life sucks, but don't take it out on other people's lives. ITS NOT OUR FAULT.

5. Living situations
WE FOuND A HOUSE FOR NEXT YEAR. It's perfect, which a fire place, a backyard, big kitchen- it's pretty much amazing.

6. Giraffes.
I want to touch one. Random, I know.

7. Calls at 3am.
"Come over.." "I miss you." "I just want to cuddle."
Um, no.

8. You make me smile. I just OH this deserves another post.

And She Greets the Day with... the day after.

I tried sushi.
I didn't like it, Dane. Fish eggs? You would.
I called Aubrey to check on her. If, only, if only.
Us three, again. Sleep overs, bonfires, and us.
I miss you, please come visit me today- I need you.
“When angels visit us, we do not hear the rustle of wings, nor feel the feathery touch of the breast of a dove; but we know their presence by the love they create in our hearts.”












"It’s sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk fo hours. And how now, you can barely even look at them"

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."
Tupac Shakur.


... you know, if people wanted to be in your life- they would make an effort to do so.